![]() ![]() Uncertainty makes people feel vulnerable, but it also gives them power. Ambiguity feels protective.” He points to the rise in cohabitation as the ground zero ambiguous relationship: Hey, we’re planning a future together, but that future could be temporary. ![]() “Simply put, If I don’t make it really clear what I want, I cannot be rejected as deeply. “I think the ambiguity is motivated,” says Scott Stanley, a research professor in Psychology at the University of Denver. Maybe you hang out with someone, and perhaps you hook up with them a couple of times, but you don’t want to put a name on it - and there are reasons for this. As a result, people aren’t sure what their relationships are, let alone whether they will last. The relationships were more or less linear. People used to meet, go out on a few dates, decide not to date anyone else, learn to trust each other, fall in love, say Those Three Words and then either officially partner up and maybe marry, or break up and fall into a deep funk before starting the process all over again. Psychologists have observed that modern relationships do not follow the map that used to help people guide their way to commitment. Because it really is complicated nowadays
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